kkscatnip: Durarara!! (cheesy grin)
I have never felt so much that "life is the thing that happens while you're making plans" applies to me as it does over the last year or so, oh my god.

Oh, I'm going to move to California. AM I? I was convinced I would at the beginning of the month, and convinced I wouldn't by the end of the month.

By the second week in May, I knew I would be for sure, in spite of everything. I took a week-long trip to my Dad's at this point, just making sure it was a place I could stand to be for more than a week but less than a month. It was!

Early in the fourth week in May, I moved out my my apartment in Atlanta, into the house I grew up in with my mom. At the time she was on FMLA leave from her work because her various chronic pain things (psoriatic arthritis, fibromyalgia, and trigeminal neuralgia) were getting too bad for her to work. While I was there, I did as much as I could for her. (She's now on SSDI!)

Went to Outer Banks/family vacation. I finally got to hang out with my sister-in-law's sister, Abby, who is an awesome hippie girl. Who is now accepted into mom's side of the family and was invited on her own to OBX this year. Right now I'm facilitating her introduction to the kink world, muahaha. She asked, so I provided.

I also returned my dog, Puffin, to the adoption agency I'd gotten her from. I loved--and still love--her, but realistically, it wouldn't have been good to take her with me when I had no idea where I'd end up in six months, and knew finding a place with a dog would be 600% harder. In hindsight, I am super glad that I did this and that I also left my special needs cat, Marie, with my mom. (She's subsequently adopted Marie, so I'm glad I could give her another special animal.)

Moved to Oregon to live with my dad until August 1. I got to work in his legal pot garden! It was actually a lot of fun but also hard work. Living conditions not so pleasant (a shed + air mattress, though given that dad lives in a single wide trailer, I felt like I got the long end of the stick) but for one month? I handled it just fine, in spite of it being 100+ the entire time I was there and Dad nearly killing me on the level five rapids.

Met [profile] theheartsays due to my new obsession with Bat Family everything.

Lived in Oakland! Stayed with a friend of a friend. I found Oakland and SF and San Jose and basically everywhere to be awesome and fell in love with all of it rapidly. Met an amazing furryperson and puppy named Mar. Signed a lease to begin on September 22nd, and I didn't have the cash to stay where I was any more, so...

Back to Dad's! I helped some with trimming. Not tons, because I didn't like working with the dead plants as much as I liked working with the living ones. On September 18th, the landlord called and told me he needed to cancel my lease--but he didn't have the money to give me back right then, even if I'd been in town. So is it okay if he gives me half my money by October 1, and the other half by November 1? Not in any position to argue the law with this assface, I say yes.

This is also when I began to go way downhill mental health wise, both because of the time of year and things going wrong, but also due to lack of therapy and just being at Dad's. It's not the right environment for me!

Without Assface returning the $3k I'd paid him for first/last/deposit, I felt like I was stuck in Oregon. I didn't have any money to live on if I returned to the Bay area, so seeing no other option, I stayed at Dad's. I was absolutely miserable--it was an easy formula to figure out: feeling of not having any options + daily verbal abuse + no therapy + rural area means no way to physically get away from the abuse and into a place with people who won't hurt me = Bad Times.

Near the middle of the month and while I was still at Dad's, I started having serious conversations with [personal profile] saystheheart, wherein she offered me a place to stay with her and her mom. Their place was being foreclosed on, but the auction wasn't until February 11th, so I'd have time to recoup money and get therapy and be somewhere safe. I didn't want to live in Denver, though, even if it meant living with someone as awesome as her.

At my mom's urging, in the middle/end of the month, I took the train back to SF and lived in a hostel for almost two weeks. I succeed exactly not at all when it came to finding a place to live, and doing anything constructive besides. I know part of it was the housing market, but I also needed time to recover and house-searching just wasn't condusive to recovering. This wasn't a conscious decision on my part, but rather that my brain wasn't working. Period.

By the end of the month, I felt like the world was crushing down on me. I couldn't afford to stay at the hostel for another week; I didn't feel comfortable asking the married couple who'd helped me move if I could stay with them; I was trapped, again, just like I had been at Dad's.

[personal profile] saystheheart repeated the offer she'd made while I was in Oregon, and I decided fuck it. Fuck it. I was going to Denver. I might stay when they got foreclosed on, I might not, but at the very least I'd have somewhere to stay until February. The other factor was that plane/train tickets to everywhere else that I'd have a free bed for X amount of time were a lot more expensive--I'd be in dire straits if I bought them. So I bought the $110, train ticket for November 1st. A two-day train ride really wasn't my idea of fun, but needs must etc.

I spent my last night in town with Mar; it was absolutely magical.

(October 2013 was a huge month for me.)

I spent two days on a train! It wasn't as bad as I'd thought it be, probably because at that point I probably had at least a week of time on a train, given all the train-riding I did back and forth to my dad's. I figured out a good way to sleep, and I got to see some really amazing scenery on the California Zephyr between Oakland and Denver. I got some absolutely gorgeous photos. Beautiful. I love them. (My instagram, btw. I update it selectively--mostly when I remember.)

Arrived in Denver! Met [personal profile] saystheheart otherwise known as AJ. As soon as I saw her sitting there looking all nervous, a thought popped up: This is the woman I'm going to get old with.

And then I thought, fuck. But I went for it none the less.

Things have been kind of a roller coaster since then: What do you mean the auction is in mid-December, not February? Oh god, our landlord really actually is a drunk asshole! and so on and so forth. But we've gotten through it together, and it feels like it's been years, not months, since we've been together in person.

We're engaged--the big day is October 31st, 2015, but we're going to elope and send pictures. We have two beautiful, amazing cats. We're going to make it and be okay and stuff.

And now I can write LJ entries about life since then. :D
kkscatnip: (abstract sex)
Yeah, these probably aren't going to stop anytime soon. One day I'll write something where my icon is actually relevant.

Title: Secrets
Word Count: 812
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: f/m

Read more... )

Title: Stormy Shindig
Word Count: 303
Rating: PG/PG-13
Pairing: f/f

Read more... )
kkscatnip: (abstract sex)
Title: Orange Dragon Within Reach
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 576
Pairing: Original, m/f
Content Notes: Size difference kink. Dragons. Shape shifters. Languid sex.
A/N: Porn and an excuse to write some mindless (though not completely plotless) size kink. Written for [livejournal.com profile] writerverse's Challenge #04 - An adjective, a noun and a prepositional phrase walk into a bar...

Read more... )
kkscatnip: Peacemaker Kurogane (a casual sort of happiness)
Title: Star's Journal
Prompt: 15. Survivalism
Word Count: 532
Rating: R
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): None
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/Underage): Explicit violence, implicit slavery
Summary: The beginning of Star's journal, which you can see a later entry in Whining is Expected.

Read more... )

Title: Going Back
Prompt: 11. Word Count: 389
Word Count:
Rating: PG-Rish
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): Mitchell/Nolan
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/Underage): Too much cute, mild sexual overtones
Summary: Before they make it back to the yara quarter, Mitchell and Nolan have a moment.

Read more... )

Title: Too Far
Prompt: 4. Word: Stay, 12. Person: 1st, 13. Tense: Past
Word Count: 1534
Rating: NC-17
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): Parker/Lyle
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/Underage): kinda hatesex, allusions to slavery
Summary: Lyle and Parker's last time together

Read more... )

Title: Beachside Living
Prompt: 3. Word: Fallen, 6. Place: Beach
Word Count: 1285
Rating: NC-17
Original/Fandom: Fanfic/original remix thing.
Pairings (if any): Frederick/Ashe
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/Underage): sex!
Summary: Living on the beach is fun!

Read more... )
kkscatnip: Bleach (nice vibe)
Title: Whining is expected
Word Count: 355
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Star keeps a journal; things happen. After all, it's the end of the world, so why wouldn't they?

Read more... )
kkscatnip: Peacemaker Kurogane (a casual sort of happiness)
Title: Hazardous Craving
Prompt: Word: Want.
Word Count: 1,331
Rating: R
Original/Fandom: Fandom! (The Story of a Modern Thief)
Pairings: Ashe/Frederick
Warnings: Recreational drug use, references to sex.
Summary: Ashe wants certain things, and discovers that one of them is Frederick, in spite of everything.
Author's Notes: This was written for [livejournal.com profile] writerverse's Table of Doom challenge, for the Word: Want space, and also for [community profile] kink_bingo's gift basket thing, the "danger" space. It's going to be part of a larger arc of stories, which will be posted as they're written/edited.

Read more... )
kkscatnip: Carnivale (wheel of fortune)
01.Word: Want 02.Word: Minus 03.Word: Fallen 04.Word: Stay 05.Word: Landscape
06.Place: Beach 07.Song: Human by Ellie Goulding 08.WILDCARD 09.Quote: "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." - Margaret Mead 10.Picture: Zebras
11.Word Count: 389 12.Person: 1st 13.Tense: Past 14.Format: Letter 15.Genre: Survivalism
Squee, excited!
kkscatnip: Original (Default)
Challenge: To write dust-jacket blurbs for stories. I chose to do it for stories that are already finished!

Chip Off the Old Block
Ardal knows the "legend" of the wizard in the mountain is a load of steaming, stinking bullshit, but the only way to prove it is to climb the mountain and make the wizard in the mountain teach him how to master his own fire talent.

Moyra, the wizard in the mountain, is a bit more than he bargained for, though, and making her do anything is a big joke because she's more stubborn than Ardal's dad. Not more stubborn than Ardal, though—and he proves it.

The Magic of Lacy Underthings
Corin might be the youngest between himself, Simeon, and their mutual friend Etienne, but when it comes to matters of love he doesn't act like it. It might be lacy panties that bring these three guys together, but Corin's the one who makes it work, and sex is how he does it. Lots and lots of sex.

When you live on top of other people, the way that they do on the ship, there's no privacy. So everyone knows that Capa and Mace have this thing where they hate each other and they tease each other and it's not healthy, but going on a mission into the sun isn't healthy either, so Capa figures that it's the best option of a bad lot. Until it isn't, and that's when things really get interesting.

kkscatnip: Original (Default)
I realized today that the last entry I posted was a month ago, and I've only posted one entry for 2013. Oops.

Part of it, I think, is that I started journaling for mental health stuff, and by the time I've vomited all of those words onto the page I don't have the mental energy to rehash it on LJ.

I've realized that I'm not quite comfortable anymore talking about all of my problems and innermost thoughts on LJ, either, even in locked entries. I've seen in the past how easy it is to get into someone's f-locked stuff, so I just... ehh, it makes me uncomfortable. I am sure in the future I will get to a point where I am less of a ball of paranoid anxiety, but for now this is what's going on.

My pdoc refuses to put me on an anti-anxiety drug, citing the fact that half of my present cocktail is supposed to help with anxiety. They're not anymore, are they, if I'm afraid of posting even this much somewhere that people can read it? Blargararagargagbesdasdkldrepojgfpa (But she gets so, so angry when I suggest that maybe marijuana might be a good substitute. Most def. something I am going to pursue once I move.)

Anyway. So there's a few things going on right now that are both related and unrelated to mental health:

- CON SEASON. Furry Weekend Atlanta and Atlanta Poly Weekend are the same weekend this year, argh. Upon looking at the panels, FWA has more that I'm actually interested in hearing about and feel like I could learn from. It's saddening because I've gone to every APW, even the very first one, and been absolutely overjoyed to watch them grow the way they have. It's a beautiful thing, but I am getting more and more into my furry identity and there's just so many things I don't know about that I want to learn, so I feel like that's the more valuable time expenditure. It still makes me sad to have to choose, though :(

- MOVING TO SAN FRANCISCO. Yes. It's going to happen. A couple of my friends are moving, so I'm moving with them, because it's a great opportunity and I am unsatisfied by Atlanta. I really miss Boston a lot, all the time, so hopefully moving to SF will lessen that because it is also a fucking awesome city. And there's the bit where I could get an actual scrip for pot, which is exciting.

- THE FLU. I have been so sick the last few days, omg. I caught the plague that knocked my roommate out of commission for a week and a half, but not directly from her--no, I caught it from her boyfriend. What bullshit is this D:

- SIM CITY. New Sim City game comes out in two days. Two days! Aaaaah, I am so wonderfully excited for this. I still play SC4 on a weekly, if not daily, basis so this is something that is going to be very, very fun for me :D
kkscatnip: (cherries and vanilla)
Dropping a quick line to say: after some encouraging from a certain someone, I started a community that's for people who are modding fests/exchanges. This includes anything from big bangs to secret santas and beyond! It's on LJ, because there's a lot more active fests/exchanges over there: [livejournal.com profile] tearyourhairout!

So, uh, tell your friends if they manage fests. I'm really hoping we can get a good knowledge base here that will help everyone involved :3
kkscatnip: Gundam 00 (so sorry it's over)
My mom's cat, Smitty, died this morning. Why? )

Smitty's full name was Itty Bitty Shitty Smitty Kitty, and we got him when my brother, Gene, was elevenish eightish. (Mom has corrected me on ages.) He was walking down our neighborhood street (semi-rural) and some older boys asked him to hold a black-and-white adolescent kitten and then ran off as soon as the cat was in Gene's arms. Gene brought him home, and we, having ~7ish cats (all of which were indoor/outdoor cats with our five acres of land) didn't mind adding one more to the family.

(Or at least that is the way I remember it, but then again, I was 11ish at the time...)

The cat responded to "kitty" so we decided to name it something that rhymed with that, so as to not trouble him too much with learning a name. Thus, Smitty, who was already proving himself to be a master of mischief, and earned his full name at the same time he was named Smitty.

He got along well with one of the other cats, Junior, and the two of them were constantly playing around/tom catting. Smitty was always, always very concerned with protecting the perimeter of our property from other cats; he came home with scratches fairly often throughout his life, but they were always in the front.

It was a long, long time before Smitty came home with wounds on his backside; I think the first time was either early this year or late last year. So, when he was around 15 years old. He stopped tom catting as much, when he started to come home with wounds in the back more often, and in spring went deaf slowly and over summer his mind faded in and out of dementia.

He often had bouts where he'd walk around wailing for a while and then be fine at the end of it, or even in the middle if you came up on him. I don't think he was in pain, it was just that he wasn't quite right in the head anymore. He was happy, though, if still violent: he killed birds, chipmunks, squirrels, and whatnot nearly every day. Still a hunter, even though he wasn't a protector anymore.

So, goodbye, Smitty. I know mom buried you within sight of the bird feeders, and I think you had a really good run. I'll miss you, but now you're in a place where you can hear and are fully functioning mentally. I hope Junior's there with you.

Gonna go cry a bit more, now. Rest well, Smitty.

kkscatnip: Supernatural (amused)
Me: (watching Justin Bieber's Boyfriend video.)
Sean: (looking over my shoulder) I can see why people started calling him a lesbian.
Me: He's really cute in this video! I'd do him.
Sean: You're not disproving the theory, there.

Ahaha, my bad. (Note: I'm visually attracted to traits that are traditionally female.)

In other news, fuck yes dancing, even if it's pretty exclusively boy-dancing. My kingdom for intentionally gender-bent dance moves!
kkscatnip: (just write!)

So, I'm doing the "write about 100 things in your blog" challenge, only I don't know that I can force myself to write about, uh, myself just yet so I'm doing a "write 100 short, smutty stories" thing instead.

I'm hoping this will get me more into the habit of writing short stories that are actually short! I've had trouble with that lately, so this is my answer to that trouble. :D

This is so going to make my writing tag even more disproportionate to the rest of my journal, ahaha.
kkscatnip: Original (Default)
Author: [personal profile] kkscatnip
Fandom/Pairings: Original characters (f/f, m/f, and m/m pairings)
H/C: arrest, atonement, bites, blood loss, bullet wounds, combat, deprogramming, difficult pregnancy, disappearing, falling, fire, first transformation, food poisoning, hazing, isolation, major illness, minor illness, moving, nervous breakdown, ocstracized from society, rape/non-con, secret identity discovered, septicemia or infected wounds, unconsciousness, unwanted transformation (card is here)
Total wordcount: 20,951
Warnings: Next to the prompts if there are any for that section.
Rating: PG-NC-17 (heavier on the PG side than the NC-17 side)
Summary: I made up a universe with six characters and all of these prompts center around them. The prompts are interconnected in many cases and meant to be read in the order that they are posted here. The stories don't have titles and some of them are directly connected but for the most part they're complete little snapshots of the characters' lives at that point in time.

unwanted transformation Read more... )

bites Read more... )

combat Read more... )

hazing Read more... )

major illness Read more... )

rape/non-con Read more... )

nervous breakdown Read more... )

difficult pregnancy Read more... )

fire Read more... )

septicemia or infected wounds Read more... )

ostracized from society Read more... )

first transformation Read more... )

WILD CARD (moving) Read more... )

minor illness Read more... )

isolation Read more... )

atonement Read more... )

falling Read more... )

unconsciousness Read more... )

bullet wounds Read more... )

arrest Read more... )

secret identity discovered Read more... )

food poisoning Read more... )

deprogramming Read more... )

disappearing Read more... )

blood loss Read more... )
kkscatnip: (cherries and vanilla)
Things keep breaking in the house that I'm currently living in. It's just annoying and rahh-inducing because we got a lot of the same things fixed six months ago. The house isn't that nice anyway, very old and drafty and the utilities are crap. And there's literally nothing near enough to walk to but the MARTA (mass transit) station--which is still a good fifteen to twenty minute walk--so it's always such a pain to buy groceries and bring 'em home. We're definitely not going to renew the lease, which means...

I am back in the business of looking for a new place to live! One possibility with living with a writer friend didn't pan out, so I'm looking at other places. I have a possibility to live with a house full of awesome queer people and I really would love to live in this place, but the dates are like two months off (They need someone in September, I would be moving in November 1) so it really wouldn't work with me living there unless a minor miracle occurred. Which it may.

I'm going to cross my fingers, but also look at other options. Unfortunately, Craigslist ads thus far seem to be so short-sighted that I can't find any shares that are available in November. I am going to keep looking, though!

Worst case scenario, I use Craigstlist to put together a group of queer people. It would be a lot of work, but I think also very rewarding in terms of finding a place to live and people to live with long-term.

Murr. I guess that's it for now.
kkscatnip: Tales of Symphonia (K/Z beep!)
So, now comes the mid-year look at my 2012 goals. Yay?

Read more... )
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (bring it)
I guess it's time for my once-every-few-months life update. Bullet points!

It's a long list. )
kkscatnip: Original (dreamworld)
Failing utterly at posting any journal entries. Here's a meme instead:

that 'ask your pairing mundane questions' meme )

I wonder what it says that three of my four kind-of contemporary pieces are OT3s and not pairings, heh heh heh.

In other news, my [community profile] smut_fest fics are up for this round:

On The Turning Away - LJ; DW
Pairing: m/m
Warnings: Underage (14-15), grooming, rape/non-con sex, dub-con situation in general, non-POV character death, extremely abusive relationship, happi endo
Word Count: ~15,000
Summary: In a world where demons torture humans for fun, religions are based on how they deal with the threat of demons. Ziyans offer up their priests--people often purchased as children from impoverished families--for the greater good. But is it really worth it? Can any good come from consorting with demons?

Chip Off the Old Block - LJ; DW
Pairing: f/m, mention of f/f
Warnings: Older woman/teenage boy
Word Count: ~6,900
Summary: Ardal's bound and determined to have General Moyra Hattikar train his fire talent. She refuses to teach him to kill people with his talent, but he is too stubborn to take no for an answer.
kkscatnip: Peacemaker Kurogane (a casual sort of happiness)
We had a sweat lodge yesterday. (For anyone who doesn't know: I do Native American sweat lodge type things. The lodge I go to is a Heyoka lodge. Heyoka is a sacred clown, and the lodges are done differently than a lot of lodges; less emphasis on ritual and more on what feels right at the moment/what the spirits are telling you.)

The lodge was held yesterday specifically because it's the closest as we can get it to my mom's brain surgery date of May 1st. So a lot of the purpose of the lodge was that, but also for the extended family and what prayers were brought from them.

So long and oh man, the parentheticals. )


kkscatnip: Original (Default)

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