Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Feb. 13th, 2011 05:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kkscatnip
I'm reading a book called Blind Passion by Penny Brandon, and I'm having a lot of trouble reading it because it's just boring. I can see what the author is doing, but the delivery seems to fall flat.
And I think it's because of the way she keeps switching POVs to let us know what both the characters are thinking. The story is less compelling when there's no unknown factor, and it also takes the focus off of a certain aspect of the story and places it on every aspect and that's just too... unfocused.
It really sucks, because the author is a good author and the writing is technically good and the editing is good so far, but like-- the story can't hold my attention, because I can't figure out what story is trying to get told and I feel like I know everything that's going on in it. There's no conflict or anything yet, either, which makes me D: because I think that might perk my interest despite the lack of an unknown quantity.
I guess it's just a good lesson for my own writing, about story-telling and making sure I know what story I'm telling and telling it in a compelling way.
And I think it's because of the way she keeps switching POVs to let us know what both the characters are thinking. The story is less compelling when there's no unknown factor, and it also takes the focus off of a certain aspect of the story and places it on every aspect and that's just too... unfocused.
It really sucks, because the author is a good author and the writing is technically good and the editing is good so far, but like-- the story can't hold my attention, because I can't figure out what story is trying to get told and I feel like I know everything that's going on in it. There's no conflict or anything yet, either, which makes me D: because I think that might perk my interest despite the lack of an unknown quantity.
I guess it's just a good lesson for my own writing, about story-telling and making sure I know what story I'm telling and telling it in a compelling way.
Blind Passion
Date: 2011-02-27 01:10 pm (UTC)Penny Brandon
Re: Blind Passion
Date: 2011-02-27 05:26 pm (UTC)I really think where you went wrong is by trying to have too much tension at the start. It's like playing the trump card with your opening hand-- such a waste. If the tension is allowed to build over time (I'm thinking on the lines of show not tell, here, because you told us about the tension but it was less believable than if you'd shown us) the height of the tension-- the scene you start with-- would have had more of an impact.
Also I think that when the reader knows that both of them are wanting it, it loses some of the conflict of does-he-or-doesn't-he that the character is feeling. It almost felt invalidating of the opposite POV's emotions to have them so devoutly ignoring the signals and signs and being so wrapped up in their own fear. It was just too much, you know?
Perhaps if they hadn't both had the such similar trains of thoughts/emotions, it might have worked. As it was I wanted badly to smack both of them upside the head *g*
I think you are a good writer-- which is not something I come across terribly often, sadly-- and admirable as hell for taking on the task of writing from the POV of someone who is blind, but your book would have benefited from having a more narrow focus on what story you wanted to tell rather than trying to tell every little thing that happens. Part of the joy of writing, to me, is picking and choosing the moments that are the most important, and shining the spotlight on those. :D