kkscatnip: Fire Candy (frustrated)
2010-10-16 12:56 pm
Entry tags:

End of a century-- it's nothing special

The Secrets of Scientology. Shit like this makes me want to go back to protesting those fuckheads :|

brb, finding about when the next raid is. I'm totally going to drag [livejournal.com profile] narroch along with me if there's a raid, too, because THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO. (No, really, all the ones I went to were tons of fun. At least until they weren't.)

In other news my sickness is progressing from fever to a certain shortness of breath. I really fucking hope this isn't bronchitis setting in, although all evidence points to the idea that yeah, it is. A change in the tone of my coughs + shortness of breath + lack of fever... If I'm still sick on Monday (which is looking very likely at this point) I'm getting Joyce to take me to Mercy Care.
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (trying to find my happy place)
2010-10-15 11:04 pm
Entry tags:

Gotta get that...

1) The results of my writefagging for /y/, for any interested parties. Yet again people catered to my home fandom (that would be G00) but there was a rash of weird requests in there too-- Mr. Opportunity/Esurance Guy, for one. Go forth and read! But keep in mind that the last five or so were written whilst running a fever and attempting to cough up a lung.

2) Oh my god, am I ever sick. Physically, I mean. I normally get the flu once a year-- I lucked out on it when I moved to Boston and didn't have it two years in a row, then I had it last year and ended up getting bronchitis and now I have it again this year and I feel worse than I did with the bronchitis. I'm not sure how that works out, but it does.

And I was really not well enough to have a two hour conversation with [profile] tensergorn but I don't care, I wanted to talk to her, I needed to hear her voice and reassure myself that things are at the very least not falling apart. So. I REGRET NOTHING.

3) New Star Driver this weekend @(@&^&*@# YESSSS

4) Debating on moving to LA instead of middle-of-nowhere Oregon. I mean, I was thinking Portland or Sacramento but if things go well when I visit LA then I'm fucking going there. I don't want to have to learn to drive and afford a car and blahblahblahonandon. I just hope my dad would still be willing to pay for it. (Then again, it was kind of the stipulation of moving me out of Boston-- that he would move me somewhere I did want to be...)

5) I need more DW icons.
kkscatnip: Gundam 00 (so sorry it's over)
2010-10-12 02:23 pm

Shadows cast but none obscure his sight

My fever when I woke up this morning was near 100 and after Advil has gone down exactly a degree. My normal temperature hovers around 97.8-98.0, so you can go ahead and add half a degree for a more accurate reading of what my temperature is making me feel like. (Urgh, I'm getting all migrainey too, which means even typing is loud and I have tinnitus going on above that.)

My mom also runs a degree lower than normal, too, so it's not just me. My brother's temperature is pretty normal, though, but then-- he doesn't share the low-blood-pressure problem that my mom and I have either.

Blaaah feel like shit. Okay, time for discussion/introspection; I'll start with a statement: I'm not a going-to-school type of person. Let me say first that I did well in grade-school, and mediocre in middle- and high-school. I was in the gifted program at every school I attended; it was not doing the homework that made me get mediocre to completely dismal grades.

But I did not graduate highschool. This is partially due to my getting sick for eight months during my senior year, and my teachers recommending that I just get my GED, but there's more to it than that. Even before that, I didn't get the best grades, although I was obviously smart (on both Academic Quiz Bowl and Academic Decathlon teams) because of the reason already mentioned: the second I was outside the classroom, I lost interest in my studies.

I just plain didn't do my homework, unless the homework was just reading. I read every single page of every text book I had from middle school on up (although not always when I was supposed to be reading such-and-such page to such-and-such page, because usually I was past that point already); my thirst for knowledge was that strong. I always did just fine on tests, though, heh.

So it's not that I don't want to learn things, because I do. I enjoy learning things so much that I still have a sort of hungry thirst for information. It drives me to do things like read 400-page books on the Ottoman empire or on Healing With Water or on whatever other subject happens to take me while I'm at the library or online ordering books.

But I don't enjoy learning at other people's paces. It's not that I think other people are stupid, because I don't. I know plenty of other people who are quite intelligent. It's that other people can't hyper-focus and devote eight hours in a row to nothing but avidly reading a book.

And I don't enjoy getting tested/graded on how well I "learned". It's not that I don't do well on the tests-- I do, pretty uniformly, actually-- it's that I think the idea of grading students on their performances discourages the performance as a rule. It's for these reasons that I gave up my dream of becoming a teacher in the traditional sense and dropped out of college.

One of the books I'm reading right now is called Land of the Spotted Eagle, by Luther Standing Bear. It's an auto-biography, but it's fascinating because it details the life of someone raised in a Native American environment not on a reservation. I'm going to type up some choice passages from the book, regarding his early education (and education in general in the Lakota tribes of the time):
[Lakota] education could not be confined to a certain length of time nor could one be 'finished' in a certain term of years. The training was largely of character, beginning with birth and continued throughout life. [...] There was no 'system' no 'rule or rote,' as the white people say, in the way of Lakota learning. [...] Children never had to 'learn this today' or 'finish this book this year' or 'take up' some study. [...]
Never were Lakota children offered rewards or medals for accomplishment. No child was ever bribed or given a prize for doing his best. [...] The achievement was the reward and to place anything above it was to put unhealthy ideals in the minds of children and make them week. [...]
In the course of learning, the strength of one small mind was never pitted against the strength of another in foolish examinations. There being no such thing as 'grades' a child was never made conscious of any shortcomings. I never knew embarrassment or humiliation of this character until I went to Carlisle School and was there put under the system of competition.

I'm not entirely sure I'm getting across what I want to get across but--

I'm not a going-to-school type, because I'd rather learn the lessons as life sees fit to teach them, rather than as whatever ideal the professor/state/federal government decides is best to teach.

Not to knock those of you who are going-to-school types, because somebody needs to or there'd be a shortage of doctors, nurses, teachers, et al, but it's just not for me. I toy every so often with the idea of going back, but I always end up at the same conclusion: even were I to maintain enough interest in my classes, I would be limited to what I was supposed to learn and nothing more and I just don't want to live that way.

/end ramble
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (frustrated)
2010-10-11 07:52 pm
Entry tags:

Shadows of echos of memories

Dear People Who Delete Their Journals,

Before deleting your journal, please make sure you exit all of the communities you're in. I know this seems like a silly request, but I just got through going through 45 pages of members for [livejournal.com profile] yaoi and cutting it down to 40 pages just by removing deleted journals!

It was kind of a pain, so if you'd do this the next time you delete your journal I would be much obliged.

Thanks,
[personal profile] kkscatnip

/falls over dead.
kkscatnip: Haibane Renmei (do i really care?)
2010-10-11 10:33 am
Entry tags:

Do what you do

1) Writefagging for /y/ again. As usual people are trying to stump me with AMAZING images and I'm having the time of my life. Go, post things for me to writefag! Bonus points for G00.

2) I might be taking over Admin duties at Erotic Writer's Association. I need a few questions answered first, but-- it's not like I don't have the time for it. And it's entirely likely to spur me to write more porn, and that's never a bad thing now is it? :D

3) The more I listen to The Black Ghosts the more I like them.

4) Short post is short.
kkscatnip: (lazy affection)
2010-10-10 04:00 pm
Entry tags:

But here we stand together and we're millions strong

So, Pride! Let me say first: I had never been to a Pride event before, but I thought I should go to this one because my BFF was volunteering at it and I have a girlfriend now.

It got rather long )
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (bring it)
2010-10-08 02:30 pm
Entry tags:

They say he changes when the sun goes down

1) Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] narroch06, I'll be going to Gay Pride at the Georgia Aquarium tonight, with a VIP pass. /fistpump! It will be awesome.

2) @(*)$*& STAR DRIVER KINK MEME fffff. I'm eyeballing the Takuto/fapping prompt with glee. Maybe tomorrow before I head out to Pride.

3) [livejournal.com profile] kyofujimiya is buying the Lu-wen + sleeping head + DIM Jeremy head. OMG, I'm so excited! Not for the money, more for the chance that someone will get to enjoy the doll more than I have. That's all I really wanted, tbh-- someone who'd take them and play with them instead of letting them sit around and collect dust.

4) I have such an urge to write something based on RAG!Ali with a bonus Setsuna and Saji, the way Quantum Fighters is based on pre-Anything Halle/Al. Would be awesome y/y?? (I figure I can't go wrong, with the way it seems like Ali is everybody's kink in RAG.)
kkscatnip: Peacemaker Kurogane (ahn~)
2010-10-07 09:17 pm
Entry tags:
kkscatnip: Haibane Renmei (do i really care?)
2010-10-07 03:56 pm

Our intentions always last that bit too long

1) Connecting with female characters in geek television. Very interesting, thought-provoking article. Must-read for anyone who considers themselves a feminist. Even if you're not familiar with the examples (I'm not) it still resonates; you can probably come up with examples of your own. (For me, mine is Marina vs. Saji in Gundam 00. Same peaceful sentiment, but intolerable when coming from Marina and endearing when coming from Saji the haro sex helped I'm sure.)

2) Totally going to do the VOICE RECORDING MEME. Ask me to say or answer anything, and I'll record it all and post my fabulous voice. (Meme stolen from [livejournal.com profile] piledriver)

3) I came up with the best poem ever for Lizardmen.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your cock is splendid
Fuck my throat til I'm blue


I have no excuse, really. It's fucking perfect and I wouldn't change a thing. :D
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (bring it)
2010-10-07 02:42 pm

For Sale

So I've been thinking about something for a while. Not terribly long, because it's only been a couple months, but at least since I decided that I wasn't going to live in Atlanta any longer than I had to.

I'm going to sell my dolls. Not all of them; I'm keeping Ash and Ion. Ash is too special for me to sell (you never really get over your first, do you?) and Ion is too personalized (lol permanent modding) but the rest will go.

So, I turn to you, my flist, since all of my DoA feedback is four to five years old at this point. I am selling the dolls very cheaply, and the extra heads I will give away for whatever price you can afford. It's my hope that someone who's wanted to get into ABJDs but hasn't due to the price or wants to mod/paint and needs a practice head will be able to take these off of my hands.

I have: Read more... )

Also, if anyone wants some fabric for an early Christmas present, I have plenty of that too. All you have to pay is shipping.
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (trying to find my happy place)
2010-10-06 03:49 pm

For peace and trust can win the day

1) I taught my dog "sit" and "(lay) down" recently, and so every day I go through the commands with her whilst playing, mixing the training in with general wrestling around on the floor and having fun and stuff.

But she's started now to just lay down whenever she sees the treat, lol. I'm trying to teach her how to do "shake" next, with the paw, so it's kind of frustrating but mostly it's just funny.

2) STAR DRIVER. OH MY GOODNESS. I'm so pleased with this; BONES is doing a fantastic job with the animation so far. God why can't they have done this well for Gundam 00 =_=;;

Also, for anyone wondering what it's about: it's pretty much magical pretty boy mecha. No, really, there's a scene where the main boy (whose title is Galactic Pretty Boy-- direct translation, k) starts out naked and blacked out and ends up dressed FABULOUSLY. Oh my god it's amazing why didn't this come out years ago~~

edit A gif of the transformation sequence. /edit

3) We (that would be [personal profile] smutforbrains and I) are only two scenes from being done in The Song That Doesn't End Magic Of Lacy Underthings. This is magical and wonderful! It now appears we'll probably finish at about 35k, hahaha. So much for realistic estimates! (Although, I blame Typo-- she writes scenes much longer than I would write the same scene, so it throws off my guestimates.)

4) For some reason I keep not telling IRL people that I have a girlfriend. Like, I could have told my aunt and totally just... didn't. I know most of it is because I'm just skipping over having to explain the concept of bisexuality to people whose sexual field of vision is very limited, but it still just makes me feel silly.

I mean, so what, I explain that I'm bi, the world doesn't end with that. It's just hard because I've sat on it for so many years and just been functionally heterosexual since it was easier (and I'd been burned badly by a relationship with a girl and had no desire to repeat this).

And now with it becoming accepted and seeming to be the new it-thing, it makes me feel less valid rather than more, because all of these people are coming out as bisexual and yeah that's great but-- but I don't want my family to think that I'm just doing it because of that. My mom knows and has always known, but... I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, but I'll have to rectify the problem soon because I don't enjoy lying, even only by omission.
kkscatnip: Takes if Symphonia (:D)
2010-10-05 03:52 pm

I'm having fun, don't put me down

1) [personal profile] dingsi went and created an alphabetical list of people on the love meme. Go, love them! And if you can't find someone who deserves some love: create a thread! ♥

2) Still privately being gleeful over yesterday, hahaha.

I actually went and tracked down in chat logs when we first talked (May 26th) and when I confessed the crush. It was exactly two months to the day from crush confession to relationship. It seemed like a lot longer than that, somehow.

3) Watching BSG, whoo. I'm up to S3 E7, which is pretty good considering there's like twenty episodes in a season and the episodes are an hour long. It was painful watching some of the reactions from the events of New Caprica, tbh, but the characters are recovering so that makes me squeeful again.

4) Am currently working on a story called Lizardmen in Space, which is actually being a lot of fun to write. It's turning out hilariously, too, which is good! I'm just worried it'll be a little too light-hearted for an erotica anthology, hahaha. But the characters are fun! Koit with his gay panic and Atlas with his FUCK YOU, BUDDY. I love them!

5) I've fucked with my Dreamwidth layout and I think I finally got it where I want it. The green was nice, but I'm really a purpley sort of gal.

6) I'm not going to Yaoi-con. After thinking about it and talking about it with various people, I came to the conclusion that trying to go this year would just be too stressful for too little return. I'll try again next year, when I can plan ahead and not have to worry about omgomg everything and stretch my finances so damned thin.

It's sucky, but I feel better having made the decision.
kkscatnip: Original (beep!)
2010-10-04 09:04 pm

(no subject)

So [livejournal.com profile] tensergorn sent me this e-mail today.

Subject: Will you...

(Click for larger. Yes those are panties.)

I said yes, of course. :D
kkscatnip: Death Note (glad you agree with me)
2010-10-03 11:49 am

She moves in her own way

1) An awesome person made an Anonymous Love Meme! Go, read the threads, show people love. (My thread is here, heh heh.)

2) The going-to-Yaoi-con thing is looking more and more likely, if for no other reason than I really really want to go because I've never been and [livejournal.com profile] tensergorn will be there and [livejournal.com profile] narroch will be there and man I wanna go so effing bad.

3) Have spent the last two days in the company of [livejournal.com profile] narroch, burning through S1 of Gundam 00 and Oofuri. And An Education and BBC's Sherlock! Probably some other stuff too that I'm somehow forgetting about but-- it's been highly fabulous to have an IRL friend to share all of this stuff with! I haven't had anyone like this since I moved away from Boston, and it's amazing how much it brightens my outlook on Atlanta in general.

4) OH MY GOD CUDDLING. It's been so long since I've been able to cuddle with people in a completely non-sexual manner (hi [personal profile] dhara, [personal profile] britomart_is) and it was so wonderful and comfortable. I am really such a touch-needing person, I thrive on this sort of thing and it makes me feel fluffy inside and stuff. Looking forward to further cuddling!

5) Normal Pride (as opposed to Six Flags Pride) is next weekend and I am totally going. Totally. Maybe I'll even be able to meet more anime-minded folk! (One can hope.)
kkscatnip: (lazy affection)
2010-10-01 06:56 pm
Entry tags:

More than this

So, I'm kind of moving to DW. I'm still going to read my LJ friends list, and I'm still going to update, but all future posts (with the exception of polls, hahaha) will be cross-posts. And I'm very likely going to be letting my LJ paid account run out.

I've added people whose DWs I already knew, but if I haven't added you over there then give me a poke and I'll poke you back ♥