Gimmie more
Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kkscatnip
Man, it's been a while. Shit has happened!
1) Family vacation: It went sooo well. I had tons and tons of fun with my little cousins and my nephew and got so much exercise. It was just... really great, man.
I think the high point of the trip was Steven, my youngest cousin. He is now 11 and is so very smart and so very gay. Mom and I said jokingly when we heard his name that he was going to end up gay and somehow our prediction is coming true. It's amazing--he just gets gayer every year. This year was no exception; his favorite color is pink, he wanted me to paint his nails (pink), and just the way he acts.
That aside, it was lovely to see him. He's growing into a good person, as is his brother Jack. I always wish I could see them more often, whenever I am at the beach house, but unfortunately I don't have money for travel =/
Anyway, so, the other high point of the trip was going kayaking with my aunt Paula! Oh my goodness, it was so much fun; it reminded me of going canoeing with Jeremiah when he lived up in Athens on that 40 acre plot with the pond/creek. We kayaked in the inlets on the sound-side of the banks (brackish water) and it was very enjoyable.
We even got to see a heron, and stopped and watched and he kept an eye on us but also was comfortable enough to eat. It was really awesome and made me feel good! I could have done it for another hour or two, I think; I wasn't tired afterward and my arms weren't sore at all. Well-used, yes, but not sore.
When we got home, mom told me that she'd gotten a lot of compliments for both my brother and I, which was really nice! Everybody said that I was much more well-adjusted than usual--more in balance, and hearing that made me very happy.
I was initially going to take my girlfriend with me to OBX, but ended up not doing it. But I did come out to my family that way, and so my uncle John gave me the "we don't care who you love, as long as the relationship is equal" talk. It made me feel good to hear him say that, and to see that my family treated me no differently. Good feeling.
2) My brother says that he no longer likes the taste/whatnot of alcohol. I think he's realized that he doesn't need alcohol to have fun, which is a big step for him! It really seems like he's trying very hard to concentrate on his wife and on his son, so that makes me very happy.
This is a new thing, so we'll see how it works in the long run, but he's never been at this point before--never admitted he had a problem, etc. I'm excited to hear that he's gotten to this point.
3) Lodge politics! What fun. Basic situation is this: Karen runs a lodge that is based heavily on tradition and ritual and the like. Rob runs a Heyoka (sacred clown) lodge that is pretty much do whatever you want.
I like Karen's lodges because they are more in depth and because it's a different type of praying. The lodge is just different--different feel, etc. But these last few months it's just seemed more and more like Karen has just gone off the deep end :( It sucks. And the more that the Garyites get into everything, the more I want to bash my head against rocks.
Pros: Big community, get to be in charge of fire-tending. Cons: exclusionary/meaningless traditions, can drag on for hours and hours, many members of the community would rather sit on their ass than help out.
Rob's lodges are very different. I like being able to put whatever herbs I want in the medicine; I like the fact that the grandfathers go in as soon as they are ready, out of respect for their sacrifice. I like the people there and I like the energy and most of all I like the fact that if you're on moon-time you can still go in.
But I don't like that the lodges are as short as they are. They barely last an hour, when I'm used to having three hours or so. I just feel like I can't get out the things I need to get out in that amount of time. And Rob's all telling me to pray for other people, but I am--praying for everyone with bipolar, etc. So... idk, it doesn't work for me as well spiritually.
Pros: lack of tradition, community, more learning than at Karen's. Cons: too short, doesn't work as well spiritually
So, you see, there's good and bad points of both. I wish some lodge would incorporate the two of them, so we could have some middle space, but I haven't been to one yet that does. Frustrating, especially when I'm feeling like I'm caught in the middle between the two lodges because mom's not going to be going to Karen's lodges anymore.
Sucky situation all around, I think.
4) Hope (girlfriend) visited! We had tons of fun. I feel a lot closer to her, after this visit. I'm not sure why, but it just feels like this was more intimate than before.
We went to a lodge, visited with my mom and she got to meet my brother, his wife, and their son. It was quite nice to be able to do that, and I enjoyed playing with Oliver a lot. He's so cute! And Hope didn't seem too terribly off-put by the kid, either, heh! Twas nice.
Went to the Center for Puppetry Arts on Wednesday, and got to see lots of puppets! Hope was kind of wary of going, but there was only really one scary puppet and the rest were very cool. I think anyone who appreciates art can appreciate the Center for Puppetry Arts, and I was not wrong in her case!
On ... Thursday, I think? We went to Morgan Falls. It was beautiful. We walked five miles. Also, we saw a water moccasin swimming in the reservoir. Lots of cool stuff, although we got sunburnt when we did it. Can't win everything, I guess. I really didn't think we'd spend the entire afternoon there, but we ended up doing that anyway. I regret nothing!
We also went to a swinger's club on Thursday night called Trapeze. It was... fun? I got to swim in the pool and soak in the hot tub a little. The only thing was, Hope and I both were all "FFFF no safe sex is happening here"--we're both very STD conscious so it was scary in some ways for us and it took the whole night for us to get brave enough to get out of the pool.
I also didn't like the way that guys would just come over and start fapping. It was very... hmm, distracting, I guess? I didn't enjoy it at all, although I like voyeurism, I think I like the polite distance to be there--no touchy without invitation.
We did enjoy the buffet, though. XD;
Tons of awesome sex was had, too, including a take-down/capture scene with Havok and Tal, wherein we discovered that I am stronger and can get out of the holds that she puts me in. So I did have to eventually give in and let her win, but it was amusing and led to the conclusion that I should be the one to be Halle whenever we got around to doing that.
So, uh, we did two scenes with Halle: Halle/Lyle and Halle/Al. The Halle/Lyle one was just... man, it was explosive. Very. By the end of it we were both covered all over in sweat and more exhausted than we've ever been after sex--fucking awesome.
The Halle/Al scene was damn good, too, but we weren't so very worn out after. I think because we both knew we had to go to the airport after, so we couldn't let go.
Topping is fun, in character. :D
Whippersnappers was Saturday and I got needles stuck in me. Hope got to experience a Violet Wand, and outdid all the other masochists present. It was beautiful watching her squirm and make all those sounds; I loved it so much. Just wish I was more into Violet Wands, but I am not really fond of the buzzy feeling as a method of pain.
There was one day when I was just utterly exhausted and didn't want to do anything, but she did. Sunday, maybe? Anyway, she ended up taking Puffin to the park and I took a nap. I think that was the only time when we really didn't line up on our wants; the rest was good.
And, like I said, I feel much closer to her now. I can't wait for Dragon*Con!
5) Naturally I got into a depressed state after she left. I was fine for two days and then I just went way, way down. Lucky for me, mom was there to rescue my poor pitiful self so I ended up staying at their house that weekend. Went to Rob's and had two lodges, and inbetween went to see the horses.
In the second lodge, I did a bit of travelling. I came across the golden eagle that I'd seen in a dream probably more than a year ago at this point. I'd never quite figured out the meaning of the dream, but Golden Eagle told me: Sharing something isn't always the right thing to do. Some things are better kept for myself.
Kind of a profound lesson for me, because I share everything. I'm still turning it over in my head.
6) I had the most horrible week, last week. Diarrhea, constant nausea, fever/sweating, and a very heavy period. I think my body just got cleansed of everything, heh--I was truly empty by the end of it! In every sense.
I'm much better now, but still recovering so I'm trying not to do too much. Pushed too hard yesterday with all the house-cleaning and ended up exhausted by 7. Gonna try to regulate a little better.
And that's the summary of the last month and a half. :D
1) Family vacation: It went sooo well. I had tons and tons of fun with my little cousins and my nephew and got so much exercise. It was just... really great, man.
I think the high point of the trip was Steven, my youngest cousin. He is now 11 and is so very smart and so very gay. Mom and I said jokingly when we heard his name that he was going to end up gay and somehow our prediction is coming true. It's amazing--he just gets gayer every year. This year was no exception; his favorite color is pink, he wanted me to paint his nails (pink), and just the way he acts.
That aside, it was lovely to see him. He's growing into a good person, as is his brother Jack. I always wish I could see them more often, whenever I am at the beach house, but unfortunately I don't have money for travel =/
Anyway, so, the other high point of the trip was going kayaking with my aunt Paula! Oh my goodness, it was so much fun; it reminded me of going canoeing with Jeremiah when he lived up in Athens on that 40 acre plot with the pond/creek. We kayaked in the inlets on the sound-side of the banks (brackish water) and it was very enjoyable.
We even got to see a heron, and stopped and watched and he kept an eye on us but also was comfortable enough to eat. It was really awesome and made me feel good! I could have done it for another hour or two, I think; I wasn't tired afterward and my arms weren't sore at all. Well-used, yes, but not sore.
When we got home, mom told me that she'd gotten a lot of compliments for both my brother and I, which was really nice! Everybody said that I was much more well-adjusted than usual--more in balance, and hearing that made me very happy.
I was initially going to take my girlfriend with me to OBX, but ended up not doing it. But I did come out to my family that way, and so my uncle John gave me the "we don't care who you love, as long as the relationship is equal" talk. It made me feel good to hear him say that, and to see that my family treated me no differently. Good feeling.
2) My brother says that he no longer likes the taste/whatnot of alcohol. I think he's realized that he doesn't need alcohol to have fun, which is a big step for him! It really seems like he's trying very hard to concentrate on his wife and on his son, so that makes me very happy.
This is a new thing, so we'll see how it works in the long run, but he's never been at this point before--never admitted he had a problem, etc. I'm excited to hear that he's gotten to this point.
3) Lodge politics! What fun. Basic situation is this: Karen runs a lodge that is based heavily on tradition and ritual and the like. Rob runs a Heyoka (sacred clown) lodge that is pretty much do whatever you want.
I like Karen's lodges because they are more in depth and because it's a different type of praying. The lodge is just different--different feel, etc. But these last few months it's just seemed more and more like Karen has just gone off the deep end :( It sucks. And the more that the Garyites get into everything, the more I want to bash my head against rocks.
Pros: Big community, get to be in charge of fire-tending. Cons: exclusionary/meaningless traditions, can drag on for hours and hours, many members of the community would rather sit on their ass than help out.
Rob's lodges are very different. I like being able to put whatever herbs I want in the medicine; I like the fact that the grandfathers go in as soon as they are ready, out of respect for their sacrifice. I like the people there and I like the energy and most of all I like the fact that if you're on moon-time you can still go in.
But I don't like that the lodges are as short as they are. They barely last an hour, when I'm used to having three hours or so. I just feel like I can't get out the things I need to get out in that amount of time. And Rob's all telling me to pray for other people, but I am--praying for everyone with bipolar, etc. So... idk, it doesn't work for me as well spiritually.
Pros: lack of tradition, community, more learning than at Karen's. Cons: too short, doesn't work as well spiritually
So, you see, there's good and bad points of both. I wish some lodge would incorporate the two of them, so we could have some middle space, but I haven't been to one yet that does. Frustrating, especially when I'm feeling like I'm caught in the middle between the two lodges because mom's not going to be going to Karen's lodges anymore.
Sucky situation all around, I think.
4) Hope (girlfriend) visited! We had tons of fun. I feel a lot closer to her, after this visit. I'm not sure why, but it just feels like this was more intimate than before.
We went to a lodge, visited with my mom and she got to meet my brother, his wife, and their son. It was quite nice to be able to do that, and I enjoyed playing with Oliver a lot. He's so cute! And Hope didn't seem too terribly off-put by the kid, either, heh! Twas nice.
Went to the Center for Puppetry Arts on Wednesday, and got to see lots of puppets! Hope was kind of wary of going, but there was only really one scary puppet and the rest were very cool. I think anyone who appreciates art can appreciate the Center for Puppetry Arts, and I was not wrong in her case!
On ... Thursday, I think? We went to Morgan Falls. It was beautiful. We walked five miles. Also, we saw a water moccasin swimming in the reservoir. Lots of cool stuff, although we got sunburnt when we did it. Can't win everything, I guess. I really didn't think we'd spend the entire afternoon there, but we ended up doing that anyway. I regret nothing!
We also went to a swinger's club on Thursday night called Trapeze. It was... fun? I got to swim in the pool and soak in the hot tub a little. The only thing was, Hope and I both were all "FFFF no safe sex is happening here"--we're both very STD conscious so it was scary in some ways for us and it took the whole night for us to get brave enough to get out of the pool.
I also didn't like the way that guys would just come over and start fapping. It was very... hmm, distracting, I guess? I didn't enjoy it at all, although I like voyeurism, I think I like the polite distance to be there--no touchy without invitation.
We did enjoy the buffet, though. XD;
Tons of awesome sex was had, too, including a take-down/capture scene with Havok and Tal, wherein we discovered that I am stronger and can get out of the holds that she puts me in. So I did have to eventually give in and let her win, but it was amusing and led to the conclusion that I should be the one to be Halle whenever we got around to doing that.
So, uh, we did two scenes with Halle: Halle/Lyle and Halle/Al. The Halle/Lyle one was just... man, it was explosive. Very. By the end of it we were both covered all over in sweat and more exhausted than we've ever been after sex--fucking awesome.
The Halle/Al scene was damn good, too, but we weren't so very worn out after. I think because we both knew we had to go to the airport after, so we couldn't let go.
Topping is fun, in character. :D
Whippersnappers was Saturday and I got needles stuck in me. Hope got to experience a Violet Wand, and outdid all the other masochists present. It was beautiful watching her squirm and make all those sounds; I loved it so much. Just wish I was more into Violet Wands, but I am not really fond of the buzzy feeling as a method of pain.
There was one day when I was just utterly exhausted and didn't want to do anything, but she did. Sunday, maybe? Anyway, she ended up taking Puffin to the park and I took a nap. I think that was the only time when we really didn't line up on our wants; the rest was good.
And, like I said, I feel much closer to her now. I can't wait for Dragon*Con!
5) Naturally I got into a depressed state after she left. I was fine for two days and then I just went way, way down. Lucky for me, mom was there to rescue my poor pitiful self so I ended up staying at their house that weekend. Went to Rob's and had two lodges, and inbetween went to see the horses.
In the second lodge, I did a bit of travelling. I came across the golden eagle that I'd seen in a dream probably more than a year ago at this point. I'd never quite figured out the meaning of the dream, but Golden Eagle told me: Sharing something isn't always the right thing to do. Some things are better kept for myself.
Kind of a profound lesson for me, because I share everything. I'm still turning it over in my head.
6) I had the most horrible week, last week. Diarrhea, constant nausea, fever/sweating, and a very heavy period. I think my body just got cleansed of everything, heh--I was truly empty by the end of it! In every sense.
I'm much better now, but still recovering so I'm trying not to do too much. Pushed too hard yesterday with all the house-cleaning and ended up exhausted by 7. Gonna try to regulate a little better.
And that's the summary of the last month and a half. :D
