kkscatnip: Peacemaker Kurogane (a casual sort of happiness)
We had a sweat lodge yesterday. (For anyone who doesn't know: I do Native American sweat lodge type things. The lodge I go to is a Heyoka lodge. Heyoka is a sacred clown, and the lodges are done differently than a lot of lodges; less emphasis on ritual and more on what feels right at the moment/what the spirits are telling you.)

The lodge was held yesterday specifically because it's the closest as we can get it to my mom's brain surgery date of May 1st. So a lot of the purpose of the lodge was that, but also for the extended family and what prayers were brought from them.

So long and oh man, the parentheticals. )

Gimmie more

Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:09 pm
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (bring it)
Man, it's been a while. Shit has happened!

Read more... )

And that's the summary of the last month and a half. :D
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (trying to find my happy place)
Wanted to post this separately from the APW stuff just in case someone ends up finding/linking to that, heh heh heh.

1) Went and saw Sucker Punch. My immediate reaction upon seeing it was to rage, but upon thinking and discussing it more with people, I think that this movie brings a very valuable element to the table but other people have already said this far more eloquently than I am able to.

2) Sweat lodge on Saturday. This is the e-mail I sent [livejournal.com profile] tensergorn when I got home:

Read more... )

I felt a bit better on Sunday when I went over there to help take down the lodge. I brought Puffin with me, since I'm going to be house-sitting their house for ten days at the end of May and Puffin will be coming with me.

Oh. My. God. Puffin had so much fun. She was constantly running around, smelling things, and like a bouncy, happy sort of running around. It was soooo cute! And she made friends with the pony, Bolt, who is very human-shy. They touched noses, and it was just the cutest sight ever, this stocky pony stretching out his neck and puffin stretching out her neck and their noses just barely touching.

I stayed out in the field for probably an hour just writing, and Puffin just ran around the whole time-- a lot of the time near Bolt too, which made me smile. I felt very good by the time I left.

3) Em and I attended the Whippersnappers Atlanta Meet & Greet at Manuel's Tavern on Thursday. Abby, Noel, and Art were all there so it was just wonderful to get to see all of them again. I ended up getting uhhh pretty trashed. I think the Triple Sec was what did me in, in the end.

I completely forgot the name of the girl who ended up giving me a scalp/neck/shoulder massage, (she had very nice tits, I must confess, and nice thighs as well) but all I can remember from the end of the night is that it felt like so many people were touching me and it was just such an awesome feeling. I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed to be the center of attention for once, which was another boost for me.

(Also, I got to kiss both Noel and Art. Fsdlklsadsk I love kissing people; words cannot express this adequately.)

On a related note,

4) I will be attending Frolicon. I've made arrangements for Puffin; I have a pre-reg; Em and I will either find a room with some floor space and crash there or sleep in the car. We'll bring blankets and shit again either way, heh heh heh.
kkscatnip: Gundam 00 (so sorry it's over)
My fever when I woke up this morning was near 100 and after Advil has gone down exactly a degree. My normal temperature hovers around 97.8-98.0, so you can go ahead and add half a degree for a more accurate reading of what my temperature is making me feel like. (Urgh, I'm getting all migrainey too, which means even typing is loud and I have tinnitus going on above that.)

My mom also runs a degree lower than normal, too, so it's not just me. My brother's temperature is pretty normal, though, but then-- he doesn't share the low-blood-pressure problem that my mom and I have either.

Blaaah feel like shit. Okay, time for discussion/introspection; I'll start with a statement: I'm not a going-to-school type of person. Let me say first that I did well in grade-school, and mediocre in middle- and high-school. I was in the gifted program at every school I attended; it was not doing the homework that made me get mediocre to completely dismal grades.

But I did not graduate highschool. This is partially due to my getting sick for eight months during my senior year, and my teachers recommending that I just get my GED, but there's more to it than that. Even before that, I didn't get the best grades, although I was obviously smart (on both Academic Quiz Bowl and Academic Decathlon teams) because of the reason already mentioned: the second I was outside the classroom, I lost interest in my studies.

I just plain didn't do my homework, unless the homework was just reading. I read every single page of every text book I had from middle school on up (although not always when I was supposed to be reading such-and-such page to such-and-such page, because usually I was past that point already); my thirst for knowledge was that strong. I always did just fine on tests, though, heh.

So it's not that I don't want to learn things, because I do. I enjoy learning things so much that I still have a sort of hungry thirst for information. It drives me to do things like read 400-page books on the Ottoman empire or on Healing With Water or on whatever other subject happens to take me while I'm at the library or online ordering books.

But I don't enjoy learning at other people's paces. It's not that I think other people are stupid, because I don't. I know plenty of other people who are quite intelligent. It's that other people can't hyper-focus and devote eight hours in a row to nothing but avidly reading a book.

And I don't enjoy getting tested/graded on how well I "learned". It's not that I don't do well on the tests-- I do, pretty uniformly, actually-- it's that I think the idea of grading students on their performances discourages the performance as a rule. It's for these reasons that I gave up my dream of becoming a teacher in the traditional sense and dropped out of college.

One of the books I'm reading right now is called Land of the Spotted Eagle, by Luther Standing Bear. It's an auto-biography, but it's fascinating because it details the life of someone raised in a Native American environment not on a reservation. I'm going to type up some choice passages from the book, regarding his early education (and education in general in the Lakota tribes of the time):
[Lakota] education could not be confined to a certain length of time nor could one be 'finished' in a certain term of years. The training was largely of character, beginning with birth and continued throughout life. [...] There was no 'system' no 'rule or rote,' as the white people say, in the way of Lakota learning. [...] Children never had to 'learn this today' or 'finish this book this year' or 'take up' some study. [...]
Never were Lakota children offered rewards or medals for accomplishment. No child was ever bribed or given a prize for doing his best. [...] The achievement was the reward and to place anything above it was to put unhealthy ideals in the minds of children and make them week. [...]
In the course of learning, the strength of one small mind was never pitted against the strength of another in foolish examinations. There being no such thing as 'grades' a child was never made conscious of any shortcomings. I never knew embarrassment or humiliation of this character until I went to Carlisle School and was there put under the system of competition.

I'm not entirely sure I'm getting across what I want to get across but--

I'm not a going-to-school type, because I'd rather learn the lessons as life sees fit to teach them, rather than as whatever ideal the professor/state/federal government decides is best to teach.

Not to knock those of you who are going-to-school types, because somebody needs to or there'd be a shortage of doctors, nurses, teachers, et al, but it's just not for me. I toy every so often with the idea of going back, but I always end up at the same conclusion: even were I to maintain enough interest in my classes, I would be limited to what I was supposed to learn and nothing more and I just don't want to live that way.

/end ramble


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