kkscatnip: Tales of Symphonia (K/Z beep!)
So, I had my date with Kristin. (!!!) I was so nervous as I was leaving that I left my keys in the front door. It was locked, of course. I just forgot to take my keys out. /facepalm

ramble ramble )
kkscatnip: (sad)
Man, the whole "starting to write journal entries again" thing is harder than I expected it to be. I really have gotten into the habit of closing up completely when bad things happen or I am feeling bad; it is going to take some working for me to start opening up again the way I used to.

ramble ramble ramble )

In other news, I have started using Plurk again. Does anybody else here use it?

Gimmie more

Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:09 pm
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (bring it)
Man, it's been a while. Shit has happened!

Read more... )

And that's the summary of the last month and a half. :D
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (trying to find my happy place)
Wanted to post this separately from the APW stuff just in case someone ends up finding/linking to that, heh heh heh.

1) Went and saw Sucker Punch. My immediate reaction upon seeing it was to rage, but upon thinking and discussing it more with people, I think that this movie brings a very valuable element to the table but other people have already said this far more eloquently than I am able to.

2) Sweat lodge on Saturday. This is the e-mail I sent [livejournal.com profile] tensergorn when I got home:

Read more... )

I felt a bit better on Sunday when I went over there to help take down the lodge. I brought Puffin with me, since I'm going to be house-sitting their house for ten days at the end of May and Puffin will be coming with me.

Oh. My. God. Puffin had so much fun. She was constantly running around, smelling things, and like a bouncy, happy sort of running around. It was soooo cute! And she made friends with the pony, Bolt, who is very human-shy. They touched noses, and it was just the cutest sight ever, this stocky pony stretching out his neck and puffin stretching out her neck and their noses just barely touching.

I stayed out in the field for probably an hour just writing, and Puffin just ran around the whole time-- a lot of the time near Bolt too, which made me smile. I felt very good by the time I left.

3) Em and I attended the Whippersnappers Atlanta Meet & Greet at Manuel's Tavern on Thursday. Abby, Noel, and Art were all there so it was just wonderful to get to see all of them again. I ended up getting uhhh pretty trashed. I think the Triple Sec was what did me in, in the end.

I completely forgot the name of the girl who ended up giving me a scalp/neck/shoulder massage, (she had very nice tits, I must confess, and nice thighs as well) but all I can remember from the end of the night is that it felt like so many people were touching me and it was just such an awesome feeling. I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed to be the center of attention for once, which was another boost for me.

(Also, I got to kiss both Noel and Art. Fsdlklsadsk I love kissing people; words cannot express this adequately.)

On a related note,

4) I will be attending Frolicon. I've made arrangements for Puffin; I have a pre-reg; Em and I will either find a room with some floor space and crash there or sleep in the car. We'll bring blankets and shit again either way, heh heh heh.
kkscatnip: Death Note (glad you agree with me)
Such a blast. It's taken me a while to get the write-up done because I was without a computer for a week directly following the con, due to my computer being dead, dead, dead.

Atlanta Poly Weekend 2011 in a nutshell!

Read more... )
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (bring it)
Amagad, I just had a discussion with Em about words and what word we would use to represent each other. We'll be attending Poly Weekend Atlanta this weekend (yep, I am way excited, thanks for asking) and I thought that having a word other than "friend" to describe her might be important.

Fuckbuddy? Woefully inadequate, as we are also very good friends.
Friend with Benefits? A mouthful, and makes me feel like I'm still in college with no plans to graduate anytime soon. (Also, it leaves out the important fact that I really care about her!)
Girlfriend? No, that's not at all right, and I don't care to quantify why.
Paramour? Has negative connotations and I don't want to even open up that can of worms.

We ended up deciding on "lover", because it conveys generally what we are to each other, I think.

It makes me feel like, yeah, I am legit poly now (although as [livejournal.com profile] tensergorn said I have the basic poly precept that the amount of love a person has in them is not limited down and have had it down for years of my life) and I think it's just a really damn good feeling.

Who knew that identity could be so empowering! I'll have to think more on this.
kkscatnip: Gundam 00 (told you so)
I took Emily out to dinner last night, for V-day. It was very nice! It's been something like two months (maybe as much as ten weeks) since I've seen her, so it felt really good to just... have my friend back, sitting there talking with me, and all that stuff.

We also talked a bit about Tens, and the reasons why I like her, etc etc. It was a good conversation for me, good to actually sit and talk about that a bit because nobody else has actually asked me those sort of things and they're questions that do need answers.

After dinner we went back to my apartment for sexytimes, and on the way we stopped and talked to someone named Amanda who lives in my apartment complex and had told me a few times that she liked girls. Amanda asked if we were drinking, and if she might join us, and of course Emily and I are both thinking: fuck yeah, threesome, so we said yes.

It took her a while to get beer and join us, during which time we reserved a room for Dragon*Con. (So, so excited about this!) It was kind of a pain, because all of the overflow places we called were booked up, and so as a kind of last-ditch resort we called the one official hotel that was fuckoff expensive but not booked solid, and found out that we could get a AAA discount that would pretty much bring the room price down to the Dragon*Con rates... blahblahblah, lots of negotiating later, we find a room at one of the booked hotels but it's fuckoff expensive so we're only booked for Friday and Saturday nights. I figure $50 for the cab back to my apartment isn't that bad, really, if we're going to have a room the rest of the time.

Anyway, Amanda finally joins us, and Emily and I are kind of, you know, making out a bit. Because we do that. It's required. And Amanda's just... watching. It was kind of creepy! Like, how are you going to just sit and watch when two girls are having sex and inviting you to join them? When one of them starts undressing you?

In the end we concluded that Amanda was remarkably straight, but it was certainly an interesting experience. Object lesson in spotting straight girls, I guess, which is always helpful!

(As usual the music is so apropos-- Amanda is blonde.)
kkscatnip: Nodame Cantabile (totally blushing)
Dear Single Women of NYC: It's Not Them, It's You is a completely awesome article. I've read it twice over, and I agree with it completely. It is applicable to women everywhere, so don't think it doesn't apply to you if you don't live in NYC.

The article makes three points that really made me sit up and pay attention, though. The first is that if women want equality (and I think most women do) they can't skip out on taking half of the blame when relationships fall apart. They can't say things like "it was him, not you" or "men are jerks" or whatever else, if they want to follow the belief that men and women are truly equal, because that's foisting off the responsibility and doing that is no help at all with the equality issue.

The second point the article makes is that "settling" is not a bad thing. Mr Right may or may not exist, and Mr Good Enough is right in front of you, so if you want a marriage or a child or whatever else badly enough there's no reason not to settle. A lot of people have a visceral reaction to the idea of settling down, and I think that is kind of silly because there's no shame in making a decision.

Which leads us into the third point: if you're going to enter into a long-term relationship, you need to know what you want from it. Your goal is that 2.5 kids and a dog? Fine, go for it. Your goal is to have someone to call your husband/wife? Also fine.

Going into relationships not having a goal is-- well, it's destructive to the relationship, for one. You're undermining it from the start, not knowing what you want, because if you don't know what you want it's impossible for the other person to provide that.

This is a lesson that I'm only just recently learning! I feel like I should have thought of it sooner, but honestly-- it's a new realization, and this recent relationship with [livejournal.com profile] tensergorn is the only one I've entered into knowing exactly what I want.

I want a best friend that I can share everything, everything with; I want someone who tries to understand me; I want someone who makes communication a priority; above all, I want someone who I can love and who loves me, and have both of us accept that love/caring. Eventually, I want kids, but that's a less pressing desire than all the rest. I don't have to do it now, now, now, but the rest-- they're very important things to me.

I seem to recall having a discussion with her at some point-- possibly before we started dating, when we were still at the flirting heavily stage-- about some aspects of these things, and thinking that the results were satisfactory.

I'm not quite sure where else I'm going with this, but I mostly just wanted to link the article and say, look, look! Someone who's gotten it right!

I really hope the article gets more exposure than it has so far; it deserves it.
kkscatnip: Star Driver (arms wide open)
Never go on a trip and think, "Oh, I'll keep up with online things, no problem at all!" because boy, will you fail. Or I will fail, anyway. Which is what happened. I've spent the past week trying to just re-adjust and let me tell you: it's not easy.

Anyway, so, the trip. This is totally long and I am absolutely unapologetic about it; I'm not going to cut.

On Los Angeles, the city itself: I really enjoyed what of it I got to see; it seems like a good combination between Atlanta and Boston. I do want to try a trip where I spend more time in the city (rather than at home watching anime and having sex) but that will have to wait until later this year or next year because I'm not going to be moving until March 2012 at the earliest. This is very saddening, but it's the best decision for my mental health to take things slow.

On my girlfriend: Both her and I were super nervous about meeting IRL. I think we knew we had no cause for the nerves, but they were there nonetheless and I think when I got off the plane I was practically buzzing I was so keyed up. And then I saw her and ffff. I don't even know, my first thought was: she's so lanky. Second thought: nipples. (Yep.)

Anyway, things went just fine in that regard. We have great chemistry, we get along great IRL too, she's a good kisser, and even if I can't manually get her off myself I know how to help her to get herself off which is nearly as good.

Probably TMI )

On RAG Party (aka my birthday): SO MUCH FUN WAS HAD. Penis identification, panties, prompt game, drinking, reading snippets-- oh man, it was just... it was so awesome. I think next time Tens just needs to pace herself a little better and not get blackout-drunk before it's even midnight! I wish that I had gotten to see more of the party, but I was mostly interested in making sure that Tens was okay and after that I was interested in making sure I got to make out with [livejournal.com profile] eeveil.

I got to have tea at the maid cafe Royal/T with Saji, too, and that was actually very enjoyable! Saji is a cool person, and I look forward to getting to know her better when I move to LA.

On Oregon/Visiting my dad: I had thought this lately when talking with him on the phone, but in person it was really obvious-- my dad has found his place. He's happy where he is; he's happy to just be there. He's finally acting more like an adult than a child, which is probably a fucking huge step for him.

I visited Crater Lake and the Southern Oregon coastline and Ashland while I was with him, and it was fun, but it all confirmed the fact that I really had no interest at all in actually living there. It's the very definition of bumfuck nowhere, and... yeah.

And now I'm back home and doing my best to deal with adjusting to life not-on-vacation. It's going kind of slowly, but I think I'll lick it in the end.
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (trying to find my happy place)
1) The results of my writefagging for /y/, for any interested parties. Yet again people catered to my home fandom (that would be G00) but there was a rash of weird requests in there too-- Mr. Opportunity/Esurance Guy, for one. Go forth and read! But keep in mind that the last five or so were written whilst running a fever and attempting to cough up a lung.

2) Oh my god, am I ever sick. Physically, I mean. I normally get the flu once a year-- I lucked out on it when I moved to Boston and didn't have it two years in a row, then I had it last year and ended up getting bronchitis and now I have it again this year and I feel worse than I did with the bronchitis. I'm not sure how that works out, but it does.

And I was really not well enough to have a two hour conversation with [profile] tensergorn but I don't care, I wanted to talk to her, I needed to hear her voice and reassure myself that things are at the very least not falling apart. So. I REGRET NOTHING.

3) New Star Driver this weekend @(@&^&*@# YESSSS

4) Debating on moving to LA instead of middle-of-nowhere Oregon. I mean, I was thinking Portland or Sacramento but if things go well when I visit LA then I'm fucking going there. I don't want to have to learn to drive and afford a car and blahblahblahonandon. I just hope my dad would still be willing to pay for it. (Then again, it was kind of the stipulation of moving me out of Boston-- that he would move me somewhere I did want to be...)

5) I need more DW icons.
kkscatnip: Takes if Symphonia (:D)
1) [personal profile] dingsi went and created an alphabetical list of people on the love meme. Go, love them! And if you can't find someone who deserves some love: create a thread! ♥

2) Still privately being gleeful over yesterday, hahaha.

I actually went and tracked down in chat logs when we first talked (May 26th) and when I confessed the crush. It was exactly two months to the day from crush confession to relationship. It seemed like a lot longer than that, somehow.

3) Watching BSG, whoo. I'm up to S3 E7, which is pretty good considering there's like twenty episodes in a season and the episodes are an hour long. It was painful watching some of the reactions from the events of New Caprica, tbh, but the characters are recovering so that makes me squeeful again.

4) Am currently working on a story called Lizardmen in Space, which is actually being a lot of fun to write. It's turning out hilariously, too, which is good! I'm just worried it'll be a little too light-hearted for an erotica anthology, hahaha. But the characters are fun! Koit with his gay panic and Atlas with his FUCK YOU, BUDDY. I love them!

5) I've fucked with my Dreamwidth layout and I think I finally got it where I want it. The green was nice, but I'm really a purpley sort of gal.

6) I'm not going to Yaoi-con. After thinking about it and talking about it with various people, I came to the conclusion that trying to go this year would just be too stressful for too little return. I'll try again next year, when I can plan ahead and not have to worry about omgomg everything and stretch my finances so damned thin.

It's sucky, but I feel better having made the decision.
kkscatnip: Original (beep!)
So [livejournal.com profile] tensergorn sent me this e-mail today.

Subject: Will you...

(Click for larger. Yes those are panties.)

I said yes, of course. :D
kkscatnip: Death Note (glad you agree with me)
1) An awesome person made an Anonymous Love Meme! Go, read the threads, show people love. (My thread is here, heh heh.)

2) The going-to-Yaoi-con thing is looking more and more likely, if for no other reason than I really really want to go because I've never been and [livejournal.com profile] tensergorn will be there and [livejournal.com profile] narroch will be there and man I wanna go so effing bad.

3) Have spent the last two days in the company of [livejournal.com profile] narroch, burning through S1 of Gundam 00 and Oofuri. And An Education and BBC's Sherlock! Probably some other stuff too that I'm somehow forgetting about but-- it's been highly fabulous to have an IRL friend to share all of this stuff with! I haven't had anyone like this since I moved away from Boston, and it's amazing how much it brightens my outlook on Atlanta in general.

4) OH MY GOD CUDDLING. It's been so long since I've been able to cuddle with people in a completely non-sexual manner (hi [personal profile] dhara, [personal profile] britomart_is) and it was so wonderful and comfortable. I am really such a touch-needing person, I thrive on this sort of thing and it makes me feel fluffy inside and stuff. Looking forward to further cuddling!

5) Normal Pride (as opposed to Six Flags Pride) is next weekend and I am totally going. Totally. Maybe I'll even be able to meet more anime-minded folk! (One can hope.)

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