kkscatnip: Gundam 00 (so sorry it's over)
My mom's cat, Smitty, died this morning. Why? )

Smitty's full name was Itty Bitty Shitty Smitty Kitty, and we got him when my brother, Gene, was elevenish eightish. (Mom has corrected me on ages.) He was walking down our neighborhood street (semi-rural) and some older boys asked him to hold a black-and-white adolescent kitten and then ran off as soon as the cat was in Gene's arms. Gene brought him home, and we, having ~7ish cats (all of which were indoor/outdoor cats with our five acres of land) didn't mind adding one more to the family.

(Or at least that is the way I remember it, but then again, I was 11ish at the time...)

The cat responded to "kitty" so we decided to name it something that rhymed with that, so as to not trouble him too much with learning a name. Thus, Smitty, who was already proving himself to be a master of mischief, and earned his full name at the same time he was named Smitty.

He got along well with one of the other cats, Junior, and the two of them were constantly playing around/tom catting. Smitty was always, always very concerned with protecting the perimeter of our property from other cats; he came home with scratches fairly often throughout his life, but they were always in the front.

It was a long, long time before Smitty came home with wounds on his backside; I think the first time was either early this year or late last year. So, when he was around 15 years old. He stopped tom catting as much, when he started to come home with wounds in the back more often, and in spring went deaf slowly and over summer his mind faded in and out of dementia.

He often had bouts where he'd walk around wailing for a while and then be fine at the end of it, or even in the middle if you came up on him. I don't think he was in pain, it was just that he wasn't quite right in the head anymore. He was happy, though, if still violent: he killed birds, chipmunks, squirrels, and whatnot nearly every day. Still a hunter, even though he wasn't a protector anymore.

So, goodbye, Smitty. I know mom buried you within sight of the bird feeders, and I think you had a really good run. I'll miss you, but now you're in a place where you can hear and are fully functioning mentally. I hope Junior's there with you.

Gonna go cry a bit more, now. Rest well, Smitty.

kkscatnip: (sad)
Man, the whole "starting to write journal entries again" thing is harder than I expected it to be. I really have gotten into the habit of closing up completely when bad things happen or I am feeling bad; it is going to take some working for me to start opening up again the way I used to.

ramble ramble ramble )

In other news, I have started using Plurk again. Does anybody else here use it?

Gimmie more

Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:09 pm
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (bring it)
Man, it's been a while. Shit has happened!

Read more... )

And that's the summary of the last month and a half. :D
kkscatnip: Star Driver (arms wide open)
Never go on a trip and think, "Oh, I'll keep up with online things, no problem at all!" because boy, will you fail. Or I will fail, anyway. Which is what happened. I've spent the past week trying to just re-adjust and let me tell you: it's not easy.

Anyway, so, the trip. This is totally long and I am absolutely unapologetic about it; I'm not going to cut.

On Los Angeles, the city itself: I really enjoyed what of it I got to see; it seems like a good combination between Atlanta and Boston. I do want to try a trip where I spend more time in the city (rather than at home watching anime and having sex) but that will have to wait until later this year or next year because I'm not going to be moving until March 2012 at the earliest. This is very saddening, but it's the best decision for my mental health to take things slow.

On my girlfriend: Both her and I were super nervous about meeting IRL. I think we knew we had no cause for the nerves, but they were there nonetheless and I think when I got off the plane I was practically buzzing I was so keyed up. And then I saw her and ffff. I don't even know, my first thought was: she's so lanky. Second thought: nipples. (Yep.)

Anyway, things went just fine in that regard. We have great chemistry, we get along great IRL too, she's a good kisser, and even if I can't manually get her off myself I know how to help her to get herself off which is nearly as good.

Probably TMI )

On RAG Party (aka my birthday): SO MUCH FUN WAS HAD. Penis identification, panties, prompt game, drinking, reading snippets-- oh man, it was just... it was so awesome. I think next time Tens just needs to pace herself a little better and not get blackout-drunk before it's even midnight! I wish that I had gotten to see more of the party, but I was mostly interested in making sure that Tens was okay and after that I was interested in making sure I got to make out with [livejournal.com profile] eeveil.

I got to have tea at the maid cafe Royal/T with Saji, too, and that was actually very enjoyable! Saji is a cool person, and I look forward to getting to know her better when I move to LA.

On Oregon/Visiting my dad: I had thought this lately when talking with him on the phone, but in person it was really obvious-- my dad has found his place. He's happy where he is; he's happy to just be there. He's finally acting more like an adult than a child, which is probably a fucking huge step for him.

I visited Crater Lake and the Southern Oregon coastline and Ashland while I was with him, and it was fun, but it all confirmed the fact that I really had no interest at all in actually living there. It's the very definition of bumfuck nowhere, and... yeah.

And now I'm back home and doing my best to deal with adjusting to life not-on-vacation. It's going kind of slowly, but I think I'll lick it in the end.
kkscatnip: Fire Candy (trying to find my happy place)
1) I taught my dog "sit" and "(lay) down" recently, and so every day I go through the commands with her whilst playing, mixing the training in with general wrestling around on the floor and having fun and stuff.

But she's started now to just lay down whenever she sees the treat, lol. I'm trying to teach her how to do "shake" next, with the paw, so it's kind of frustrating but mostly it's just funny.

2) STAR DRIVER. OH MY GOODNESS. I'm so pleased with this; BONES is doing a fantastic job with the animation so far. God why can't they have done this well for Gundam 00 =_=;;

Also, for anyone wondering what it's about: it's pretty much magical pretty boy mecha. No, really, there's a scene where the main boy (whose title is Galactic Pretty Boy-- direct translation, k) starts out naked and blacked out and ends up dressed FABULOUSLY. Oh my god it's amazing why didn't this come out years ago~~

edit A gif of the transformation sequence. /edit

3) We (that would be [personal profile] smutforbrains and I) are only two scenes from being done in The Song That Doesn't End Magic Of Lacy Underthings. This is magical and wonderful! It now appears we'll probably finish at about 35k, hahaha. So much for realistic estimates! (Although, I blame Typo-- she writes scenes much longer than I would write the same scene, so it throws off my guestimates.)

4) For some reason I keep not telling IRL people that I have a girlfriend. Like, I could have told my aunt and totally just... didn't. I know most of it is because I'm just skipping over having to explain the concept of bisexuality to people whose sexual field of vision is very limited, but it still just makes me feel silly.

I mean, so what, I explain that I'm bi, the world doesn't end with that. It's just hard because I've sat on it for so many years and just been functionally heterosexual since it was easier (and I'd been burned badly by a relationship with a girl and had no desire to repeat this).

And now with it becoming accepted and seeming to be the new it-thing, it makes me feel less valid rather than more, because all of these people are coming out as bisexual and yeah that's great but-- but I don't want my family to think that I'm just doing it because of that. My mom knows and has always known, but... I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, but I'll have to rectify the problem soon because I don't enjoy lying, even only by omission.

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