kkscatnip: Original (Default)
I realized today that the last entry I posted was a month ago, and I've only posted one entry for 2013. Oops.

Part of it, I think, is that I started journaling for mental health stuff, and by the time I've vomited all of those words onto the page I don't have the mental energy to rehash it on LJ.

I've realized that I'm not quite comfortable anymore talking about all of my problems and innermost thoughts on LJ, either, even in locked entries. I've seen in the past how easy it is to get into someone's f-locked stuff, so I just... ehh, it makes me uncomfortable. I am sure in the future I will get to a point where I am less of a ball of paranoid anxiety, but for now this is what's going on.

My pdoc refuses to put me on an anti-anxiety drug, citing the fact that half of my present cocktail is supposed to help with anxiety. They're not anymore, are they, if I'm afraid of posting even this much somewhere that people can read it? Blargararagargagbesdasdkldrepojgfpa (But she gets so, so angry when I suggest that maybe marijuana might be a good substitute. Most def. something I am going to pursue once I move.)

Anyway. So there's a few things going on right now that are both related and unrelated to mental health:

- CON SEASON. Furry Weekend Atlanta and Atlanta Poly Weekend are the same weekend this year, argh. Upon looking at the panels, FWA has more that I'm actually interested in hearing about and feel like I could learn from. It's saddening because I've gone to every APW, even the very first one, and been absolutely overjoyed to watch them grow the way they have. It's a beautiful thing, but I am getting more and more into my furry identity and there's just so many things I don't know about that I want to learn, so I feel like that's the more valuable time expenditure. It still makes me sad to have to choose, though :(

- MOVING TO SAN FRANCISCO. Yes. It's going to happen. A couple of my friends are moving, so I'm moving with them, because it's a great opportunity and I am unsatisfied by Atlanta. I really miss Boston a lot, all the time, so hopefully moving to SF will lessen that because it is also a fucking awesome city. And there's the bit where I could get an actual scrip for pot, which is exciting.

- THE FLU. I have been so sick the last few days, omg. I caught the plague that knocked my roommate out of commission for a week and a half, but not directly from her--no, I caught it from her boyfriend. What bullshit is this D:

- SIM CITY. New Sim City game comes out in two days. Two days! Aaaaah, I am so wonderfully excited for this. I still play SC4 on a weekly, if not daily, basis so this is something that is going to be very, very fun for me :D
kkscatnip: Original (this is me trying hard)
On my way to a write-in yesterday, I had some guy hitting on me on MARTA. I told him, I'm not into guys, because I didn't feel like dealing with his advances. He backed off for a minute or so, and talked to his friends, and then he started talking to me again, about how big his dick was and how there's nothing like a black dick, dicks are so awesome, etc.

So I looked at him and said, "If dicks are so awesome, why don't you try them?"

He stopped for a minute, and then kind of heh-heh'd uncomfortably. "Why would I wanna try dicks? I ain't gay."

"Because they're awesome. You're sitting here telling me that, but clearly you don't believe it or you'd be gay."

And he laughed, shaking his head. "Man, I ain't had anybody question me like this before! You somethin else, girl. Gimmie your number."

So of course I refused, and he started in on about how awesome dicks were, etc etc. This time I tried a different angle, "Man, you know, I'm just like you: I don't want any dicks. Can't you understand that?"

He paused, looking a bit like a fish out of water. "Naw, girl, you'd like black dick. It's the best."

I just stared at him, not saying anything, and he starts laughing uncomfortably again. "Oh, right, I guess I should try it before I say that..."

I lol'd. And then the rest of the ride to the write-in, I thought about something he'd said: nobody had ever questioned him before. Our society is so homophobic that they can't look at a guy talking about how awesome cock is and say, "why don't you try it?"

It's kind of amazing, really.


kkscatnip: Original (Default)

April 2014

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